Cats and Cods and Bertie Botts
by Fancy-Hart
Summary: Written for Y5 House Competition. Prompt: Bertie Bott's Cod Liver Oil Flavoured Bean (Object)


Team: Eagles

Class: Potions,

Story: Standard

Prompt: [Object] Bertie Bott's Cod Liver Oil Flavoured Bean

Word Count: 1022

George thrust his slim arm out from himself, parallel to the floor and just above desk height. He slowly burrowed a pale, freckled hand into his brother's pocket, dug around for a moment, before he grabbed the tiny treasure he sought. He glanced quickly to be sure the ever-present and ever frightening Potions Master was otherwise engaged, and popped the treat into his mouth, grinning at the explosion of flavour on his tongue. "Mmm raspberry," he thought, before deciding to risk it once again. This time though it seemed the sugar rush had gone to his head, as he neglected to ensure he was not being spied upon. He had his hand back in his brother's pocket, his fingertips grasping at what they sought before he felt a shadow fall over him and his cauldron. Seconds later a cold hand with long, thin appendages and short, neatly clipped nails clasped over his forearm. He winced in anticipation of what was to come.

"Mr Weasley"

He gulped and looked up to the Potion Master's face "Sir?"

"What do you think you are doing?"

"Uh, I was…"

"Yes Mr Weasley?" George gulped.

"I w-"

"You were gorging yourself Mr Weasley"

"Y-yes S-"

"Speak up!"

"Yes!"

"Yes what?"

"Yes Professor Snape!"

"And not only did you choose to indulge in breaking the rules, through such imbecilic behaviour, but you didn't even offer the rest of the class." He heard the Slytherins snicker at this but did not turn to address them.

George looked at his peers, and back to the bag in his brother's pocket. He picked up the sack of treats, before offering them over to the stern professor. Severus grabbed the back from the idiot boy, rolling up the edges so that the small multi-colored beans were sealed airtight from any nefarious gases they classroom may become home to throughout the lesson.

"Detention after dinner. Both of you. One of you will be scrubbing cauldrons, the other will be taking inventory of the store cupboard."

"Yes Sir" muttered George as he looked to the floor, steadily avoiding his twin's gaze.

"Sir I-" Fred was cut off by the Potions Master

"For being stupid enough to bring food into the vicinity of poisons Fred Weasley."

"Yes, Sir" he echoed his brother's earlier sentiments.

"50 points from Gryffindor" The professor pretended not to delight in the soft moans and groans he heard from the other lions in the class. If things kept at this rate, the Weasley twins would single-handedly allow Slytherin to actually win the House Cup this year - even with Albus bleeding Dumbledore throwing points at his favorite house for reasons fickle as being able to tie their own shoelaces.

Snape moved away from them and placed the offending sack of sweets on his desk, where they remained until the bell that signaled the end of class.

Two classes later and the Potions Master was tired, suffering a monstrous headache and seriously second-guessing his decision to hold detention that evening, if only he had set it with Filch. He proceeded to the staffroom, the door opening just as he reached for it, as Cuthbert and Pomona exited, both nodding to him as they continued their conversation. As the door closed behind him he noticed Minerva was the only one present. He reached into the pocket of his robes and extracted his confiscated treasure and placed it on the table in front of the older woman;

"Oh Severus! For me?" she pursed her lips in amusement

He narrowed his eyes at her "Confiscated. From the Weasley twins. During potions, I might add!" Minerva opened the bag and searched through the beans, seeking a particular flavour, she popped one in her mouth. If she was correct, this was not coffee but- mmm she moaned. "Cod liver oil, my favourite" the Potions Master cleared his throat. She looked up to see a vaguely nauseated look upon the man's face.

"I have some ribbon from the packages delivered this morning, shall I fetch them for you to play with Kitty?" She hissed at him and he snorted in amusement.

"I suppose as a dungeon bat, your favourites would be the blood flavoured ones?" he growled at her as she huffed a laugh, before looking down at the bag once again and placing another tiny treat on her tongue. As her body stilled, Snape tilted his head in amusement, raising both his eyebrows in an unspoken question.

"Black Pepper" she paused in her chewing and forcefully swallowed. She looked up to see Snape fold his arms, gleefully enjoying her suffering.

The charms professor picked up the bag and offered it to the snarky man who scoffed, and turned to exit the room, allowing the door to close with just a bit more force than was truly needed. Left alone with the bag, she decided to pick out her favourite ones and would leave the rest for her colleagues.

Unbeknownst to the tabby animagus, levels below where she now sat divvying her treats; Severus Snape, rumored Vampire, and dungeon bat extraordinaire was also dividing his treasure. He was no fool - he had taken his own share of the spoils before taking the bag to the head of Gryffindor. He grinned as he pulled the handkerchief out of his trouser pocket, 90% cocoa, dark chocolate flavour, his favourite, his secret pleasure. He popped one in his mouth and leaned back in his chair, preparing to do some marking. "Now" he thought with anticipation "it is a Hogsmeade weekend in two weeks, I wonder if any of the students will buy licorice?" He made a note to ensure he was paying more attention than normal during the class. After all, he had a reputation to uphold - he couldn't very well walk into Honeydukes and order sweets! No, he would bide his time, and pray that at least one idiot Gryffindor, or Hufflepuff had some semblance of cultured tastebuds, and snuck in what he liked - allowing him to "confiscate" and enjoy them later. He sighed - it was a shame the students were too young or too Pureblood to buy some decent vodka.


End file.
